We are kind of new at pegging. He loves the pain he feels the next day when he sits. First is this normal? We started with 1.5" diameter, then 1.75" diameter, now its over 2"s in diameter, so that his asshole hurts. How thick is to thick? Thanks

Congrats on delving into this wonderful new kink!  It sounds like you guys are doing it right…gradually working him up to a bigger size.  What he may be describing as pain could actually just be that twinge we all feel the next day after a vigorous ass fuck.  If you’ve never experienced it then I suggest you do too so you know exactly what he is describing.  :)  As far as what is too thick?  Well we all have our limits.  For some it’s 1″ and for others its larger than a fist.  The anus is wonderfully expansive with the right prep work, arousal and lube!  Many men crave bigger; they love the fullness that comes with larger dildos.  That being said anal sex should never result in true pain during or the next day…or it’s being done wrong.  I’d definitely get him to describe what he is feeling.  If it’s more than a twinge, i.e burning, bleeding, sharp twinges or raw tenderness then you need to back off the bigger toys until his ass is properly opened.  See below for how to do that!




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Is it normal to feel pain during assplay/pegging?  Yes.  Is it necessary?  NO!  Most pain associated with assplay and pegging is a result of not enough prep work, the wrong lube or cheap toys.  Some pain can be actual health issues so if improving none of the above helps...go see a doctor.

How to make assplay/pegging comfortable:

That “tear your apart” feeling usually means your ass is not ready for whatever’s been put inside of it.  If fingers feel good then you know your ass likes penetration.  It's normal to feel a twinge as you are being penetrated.  Make her stop so you can adjust to the invasion and it should pass after a minute of breathing and relaxing.  

1. Never attempt anal when you are not feeling perfect relaxed and ready to go down there.  If you are stressed or not feeling clean you will likely tense up as she penetrates you and that will equal pain.  Having a bath or shower beforehand can often help and make cleaning easy as well.

2. At least 5 minutes of finger play is recommended to work open the anal muscle and prep it for a dildo.  For beginners the dildo should be small... between .75 to 1.25" is around the size of two fingers.  A small plug can be introduced 10-20 minutes prior while you both enjoy some foreplay to help loosen him up.  Or in the bath/shower prior to playtime!

3. LUBE…and not pussy lube either it’s too thin.  Anal lube is your best's thick and long-lasting.   If you have a silicone dildo stick to water based anal lube, otherwise you might try a silicone anal lube and see which one feels better in your ass.  And sexy as it is spit doesn’t count as lube and neither does pre-cum!  **IMPORTANT** Steer clear of any lubes with a numbing/desensitizing agent such as Analease!  You can do serious damage to your ass if you can feel that something painful is happening.

4.  Try different positions!  Not every position is going to feel great for you so start with the basics and get more adventurous as you get accustomed to pegging.  The first position to start out with is you on your back with your legs spread and her on her knees between them (as shown below).  The second is with her on the bottom and you on top.   This allows for you to lower yourself down at your own pace and be in control of the penetration.  These are both great positions because she can see your face and read your expressions easily.  Don't be afraid to tell her when to slow down or stop.